The day after tuesday

How is it possible I can sleep for 11 hours and not wake up until somebody calls my phone?

Why do I end up with wine on weekdays when I decided not to? Living la vida loco or is it simply a leftover from bad genes in my family?

Will I ever take pleasure in working 9 to 5?

Is it the right direction to become a project manager in the advertising business? Will I not think it is endless boring to organize all the time, and doing less fun stuff? Or will I create my own combo of fun and dollness?

Why do I fall in love with old relationships from the past? Safety? Good memories? Or is this person actually somebody special in my life, that just is too fucked up for me to be together with?

Why can’t I turn my thoughts on and off as I wish, so that I could fall a sleep when I need to? Should I start meditating? Or go into therapy? (It’s a yes on that one, just need to mentally prepare… For months.. Years maybe.)

Why did I start smoking at 27? Did I loose my mind? Why do I keep smoking when I’m 27, when it keeps making me feel kind of nauseous?

And why am I in general so fucking bi-polar with everything that has an destructive affect on your body, as in always having a bad conscience whenever I drink a coffee (toxins), smoke a cigarette (toxins/cancer) and have any kind og alcohol (toxins, weight gaining and ofcourse all of the sideaffects of your actions when your drunk. (Did I mention the broken heel?)) Will I ever come to a point in my life where I either quit all or don’t give a flying fuck?

The summary of this text, requires the quote of all quotes: “To be or not to be, that is the question” (Do I need to put the person of the qoute here?)

 

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